A Plan that I had not Planned for.........

So I guess I feel its time to talk a bit about the main focus in my life right now - Stupid Cancer!

After many mammograms, ultrasounds, cytology and finally biopsies, I have been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Cancer - Grade 3.  That all sounds a bit technical, but essentially means that although my first Surgeon thought I had DCIS - in situ, meaning the cancer had not spread - actually now I have cancer that has spread - throughout a quarter of my right breast.  So now I have to have a full mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy...... this was not on my radar and I have been floored by it all!

Now I am a strong person, I have been through many horrible, yes truly horrible, health issues in my life and I have already been given 3 months to live - 15 years ago - before my kidney transplant, but somehow I never even considered that I would get Breast Cancer.  I don't smoke, I breastfed, there is no incidence of Breast Cancer in my family ......... so its a huge shock and one which I am not too sure I have got my head around.

Things have now moved quite quickly and my surgery is scheduled for a week today - one more week of my boob left - I wonder how we are going to spend our last days together!  Well.....we are off to a Brunch on Friday and then I have booked 2 rounds of golf since I think it will be a while before I am able to swing a club again :(

I will get through this - there is no other option - but I really really wonder why me?  Why, when I have had so many other hideous health problems, do I end up with yet another one.......  But the more I think of that, the worse I feel, so best to forget about that and more about the journey ahead.

Looking on the bright side (because lets face it thats the only side to look at....) I have been blessed with some lovely friends and family who are very supportive - yes I might lose my hair (lets be honest I WILL lose my hair) but there are opportunities in that for more knitting (think cute chemo caps) and shopping (think gorgeous silk scarves for head covers).

Of course there has been lots of speculation and advice about staying here in Abu Dhabi as opposed to going back home to the UK for treatment - well my decision is to stay - I have my family here and I don't want to be away from my kids.  The sun shines everyday and the Doctors are all trained in the UK or the US and the hospital treats the Royal Family - and to be honest, Abu Dhabi probably puts more money into healthcare here than I can even possibly calculate in my head!!! Billions of $$$$.

And in my mind Mastectomy is Mastectomy at this stage, no matter where it is done.  Breast reconstruction down the line might be an option for which I go home for, but again, in terms of cosmetic surgery........the UAE has it covered.......!!!

Lets just get these next couple of months out of the way and then I will decide........

June and Jubilee

Well June has started with a bang! Of course everyone back home has been celebrating with the Queen for her 60 years Diamond Jubilee, which has been wonderful.  Hmm apart from making me really really homesick - so much so that with a glass or two too many of bubbles at our Jubilee Brunch at the Golf Club - and all the British music playing in the background, I blubbed for most of the meal - much to Keith's embarrassment - Fred escaped to the kids playroom!  Not too sure what it was all about - think that yes I was indeed homesick, but also the worry and the waiting over my breast cancer situation probably did not help!

Anyway on that front I had the core biopsy yesterday just to confirm from 99 to 100% that it is DCIS - can't say it was the most pleasant thing I have ever done and today I am quite sore and wearing one of those bras which were clearly made by a construction company rather than a lingerie designer :(

Thankfully the biopsy was move to yesterday from Sunday - so I was able to go and see Madonna as planned.  I think its fair to say I have mixed views on her performance...... Firstly she was an hour and a half late coming on stage, with no apology or information as to what was happening.  Thats all well and good but we were therefore waiting for over 2 hours in the hot and humid outdoor arena - and this is Abu Dhabi remember......so 38 degrees with about 90% humidity and thousands of people......all of whom were drenched in sweat - no opportunity to be glamourous and certainly not many people dancing......just impossible in the heat!  Anyway the show was of course very over the top and fantastically produced - but the first couple of numbers where she was running around with guns and images of blood flashing time and time again over the backdrop just seemed a bit unnecessary! Given that she banned her daughter for coming on the tour as a backing dancer because she caught her smoking, it all seemed a bit hypocrytical - we don't need her to shock us anymore - we are over that!!!!  We left before the end because Flo had school next day and of course I had hospital.  I am glad we went, but next time not in June in an outdoor arena.

Well finally to knitting!  I finished the Cedar Leaf Shawlette, which I loved in the end as the mistakes I made at the beginning all came out in the wash!  I have not properly blocked it yet but below is an Instagram photo I took with my iPhone (I love Instagram!!)

In other news....... I am working on something I still cannot mention - second test knit at the moment!  Also I have ordered some yarn from Loopy Ewe for a project which I am very excited about......more to come on that in a later blog.

Finally I am on the home straight of The Killing - loving this series so much - a really different twist on the murder/cop/mystery thing, as its all about the effect a crime like this has on others - and the twists and turns are amazing - would also be interesting to see what the US version is like - but not sure it could ever catch the atmosphere of cold, damp and dreary Copenhagen in November.  I have been there in the wet and mist and yes it really is that dreary........

I may be in Stockholm next week if my Doctor agrees......... hopefully then I can see what the Nordics are like in the summer!!

Anyway there were not too many photos in this post so here is one of Fred with his new guitar after his first lesson........... (Instagram again!!!)